In Kenya when one attempts suicide, they are a danger to themselves and the public. Therefore the first place to visit is the counselor’s office as it is thestates responsibility. That caught my attention when I keenly listened to mum explain the process after which I drifted to my paradise
In my world I believed death is the last ultimatum. I had come to accept that people who committed suicide are selfish on the up-side they are adventurous soul. This changed on June 24th; I woke up feeling overwhelmed by life and a slave to the sad reality. After a long shower I had come to conclusion that there really isn’t much to live for. As a student in a draining education system and perusing a course that I see no future in yet eagerly awaiting an active participant in the middle materialism, another shackle to the many in have felt like a burden .This is it my life has been great and I have no apologies for it.
Being of the coward tribe of Kenya, I rushed to class allowing the idea to really sink in. After which I then strolled to the Shine Radio station to make sure the shows I was producing go as planned. This involves a science I figured I could do with my eyes closed one that am really good at. In the midst of a crowded humid studio filled with students running to and fro I somehow found bliss. Adrenaline had kicked in as had presenters on toes pushing for scripts and vox pops but still allowing room to growth.
For those few hours I felt alive, oblivious of my morning blues I had purpose middle class materialism did not matter, I just loved it. I wanted to stay alive to hear the shows on air even though 20 people would tune in minus the vice-chancellor it was worth it. In that moment the spirit of God reminded me of a simple Bible verse I learned in the Mizizi class 1 John 5:11-12″ and this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” I had life!!!
I realized there is more to it than just purpose it about faith. My fight like Paul wrote it is THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH because i have Christ. I realized the Bible talks about how Christ came so we may have life and have it in abundance. That is the debt we have with God, to live to the fullest in this life and the next, to exploit every opportunity in this life and the next, to love, care and spread the word in this life.
I retired to my room convinced that I need to live because we have he that is greater in us than he that is in the world. This might be the devil’s home but I have authority over it and God is in control. As for Mizizi classes courtesy of Mavuno that is where I’ll pick a fight with the world the good fight called faith where I will put God first, seek Him with every ounce of blood in me .
Among the many insane ideas I have had, opening a blog was simply out of my reach considering am better with spoken words than I am in literature. All that matters is that I choose life because Christ chose to die that we may live.