HOW TO GRADUATE IN KENYA

Haaza! You made it. You now qualify to feed yourself and pay your bills; you will probably briefly join Kenya’s statistics of unemployed youths and now your extended family is convinced that indeed you are intelligent now that you are graduating. Your younger cousin’s will look up to you like a god aiming to rise to the standard you set for them. Please note the graduation ceremony is not for you, it is for your old Lady and Man. You will be like the fat bull paraded by a proud farmer during the market day. So let us focus on the essential.
1. Clearing with your Registrar and Finance; will be like going to the VCT Center, unpredictable and full of surprises. Yes, you will wish you kept your invoices and receipts to prove you paid for some semesters and have a unofficial copy of your grades in case the grades somehow disappear for no apparent reason. It’s at this very moment your rapport with the staff in campus will pay off in easing this crucial process. Yes, this case applies to both public and private institutions.
2. Planning for the party; Do yourself a favor and let your folks do the planning maybe you would like a D.J or the grandest dinner party that will keep your peers talking for months or years on end. Be aware your actual guest list will be 5% if you have the cool folks maybe 20%, the rest will be the aunts and uncles who didn’t care less if you went to university or not, the cousins whom you barely got past the small talk regardless, on that very day they will speak one language FOOD(take this sector with the seriousness it deserves most of the people remember such occasions by the meal they had). My piece of advice, smile and wave; be kind it won’t hurt to engage them and receive their gifts.
3. D-day; This will probably be the longest and most exciting day of your life. You will have to hang inside your gown under the hot sun (why are all graduation days so sunny?) and yes everyone you know will want to take a photo with you, like I said smile and wave. You will reign on this day, like a king meeting his royal subject and everyone will want to bask in the glory. Of cause you will receive a few golden handshakes (money from the guys who were too busy to get you a gift or they were invited on your graduation day).
4. The Aftermath; Graduation will all happen so fast, you will probably be too tired to recollect what actually happened and yes it will take hours or days for the idea that you graduated to settle in, not forgetting the sad reality. You can now officially fend for yourself and your folks will probably be counting days for you to move to your own nest but if you are a last born of a single mother like myself, well she will not be in a hurry to let you go but word for the wise “nikuhama,”.

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