These god’s must be crazy

I’m that girl in campus who never missed a class, as a matter of fact one who made it to class 10 to 15 minutes before class and handed assignments way before they are dew. If there was a teachers pet hat I would have it. Trust me I would wear it with pride.

One fine Friday evening I decided to ditch my Saturday classes and accompany some friends for a wedding shoot. Quiet frankly, I needed to getaway far far way from evil monster that hovered over my final year in campus. The journey begun at 8am in the morning with Namanga as the destination in mind. The car, a Noah ( I think)  with 5 passengers, one lady and 4 gentlemen. 

We finally made way for Namanga at noon and in the spirit of creatives, we were late. There was a concern with how often we needed to refuel but that did not deter our focus, we were going out of town for a much needed minute. The journey there was swift and peaceful.we arrived at the home of one of Namangas prestigious families and in the usual late fashion we apologetically unpacked and prepared to shoot. 

While the men where busy at work, I was busy taking up the scenery and enjoying the comfort of the wealthy. The actual wedding was the last thing on my mind. The experience was tranquil. At 4pm we were ready to pack up after  the happy client bidding us goodbye. All set and ready to go but the car wasn’t ready. She refused to move and the men had to have a candid conversion with her in order for comply, one which involved Coca Cola and just like that she came back to live, and we were on our way back to civilization after a job well done. 

One of the gentlemen, let’s call him Mike, suggested we needed to  fuel in Namanga before living despite the fuel guages report, we choose the latter. Little did we know that we had set ourselves up for one long night. It was roughly about 10kms away from Namanga in the middle of nowhere, the car stalled, and that’s how I knew how to use neutral, it served us till we got to one makeshift pertole station, in the middle of nowhere, then, wait for it closed and there was no fuel. We had to pay a Boda guy to go to the nearest town in order to bring us fuel.

At this point dear readers, mother nature did her worst. My monthlys begun, and just like there are heavy clouds on a rainy day, my body became gassy and needed to break wind involuntarily. While the rest waited I found a bush where I could equip my body adequately, then returned to the car that the men had managed to fuel. Our journey begun once more at 7pm for Nairobi. My greatest responsibility was to ensure that no involuntary gas was sipping out of my body and if unable, in small, safe, and silent potions. 

At 9pm, we could see Nairobi on our horizon, while we tried to meander through the traffic at Kitengela. This was a soothing relief to my bodliy functions. I could not wait to get to my hostel, take a shower and just release all that pent up gas. However, this wasn’t the case. The Noah shut down at Devik in a petrol station. We were confident that we would get a professional to really speak to her swiftly so that we can get on our way.

 It’s 1am and the help never came so we never moved. The locals nearby told us that or earliest help would be coming at 6am in the morning, thus we need to learn the  virtues called patience and invention. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my gassy self at this point was going to spend a night in a Noah with 4 other guys, wait men. Wait, gentlemen because they all treated me with respect and care.

Our current situation forced us to find a place we could eat,drink and relieve ourselves. The push lead us to sizzlers club (let’s be honest here its past midnight where else would we go? Hmmm)  do you want to know what  I did? I relaxed my muscles and let all that gas go. I let it all go like a bad boss.

After 2 hours of distraction from our laughable dimise, we gradually retuned to our damnation silently. Like  Pia’s Tibetan Monk’s we searched for sleep on that very cold morning. When sleep finally set in, I forgot to hold my muscle, and without a care in the world I suffocated everyone till  6 am in the morning.( just imagine the guys pretended that stink and noise was absent)

We were able to get help( the guy just touched one battery none and car was ready to go) the gods must be crazy, is all I thought on my way home. The universe conspired to make me pay for missing class and the god’s got in on the joke. Seriously! Who does that? A couple of days later we found out the guy whom we had hired the car from was simply switching on and off the car. This merciless sadist found pleasure in making a journey that would take us 4hours take nearly over 24hrs only for a few extra coins. I mean who does that!!!  


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